It is so funny when I see a story after having discussed similar circumstances with others just before hand, as with the following article from the JSOnline.com web site that I have linked to below.
Saturday night at work, I was talking with a table that was dining in my restaurant and we were discussing the current state of parenting.
What brought that discussion into play?
I was talking to them about a "phenomenon" that I have been witnessing the last few years in relation to the yearly "prom evening" here in Racine. The lady had asked why we didn't have any prom kids dining with us last night.
I replied that I had heard a lot of the parents were actually "cooking meals" at home for their kids and their respective dates, instead of these kids going out and whooping it up at a nice expensive restaurant. I told her I couldn't figure out why this was happening other than that money has become a bit tight and maybe they just wanted to save a few $$ as prom itself has become very expensive.
She came back with the idea that she thought a lot of it has to do with what is starting to be called "The Hover Generation" and what some are calling the "Helicopter Generation".
That being parents being so overly involved in the day to day happenings of their children that in essence they are "hovering" over their kids and are involved in almost every single aspect of their lives.
The discussion we had was very interesting and though I am not a parent, I started learning quite a bit about this new mindset that many parents must be living with in this early part of the 21st century.
I know things have changed from when I was a teenager back in the early 80s but it seems that today, parents are so heavily involved in every aspect of their children's upbringing and day to day activities that frankly is so totally opposite of what I (and most of the kids of my generation) went through.
And I mentioned that because of all of this "interaction" and what I would almost call "smothering" of their kids, that these young people are not being taught how to deal with the real world in a manner that will lead them to think for themselves.
I surly feel that all of this "over parenting" is creating a negative "work ethic" in the youth of today and that I have witnessed myself.
I seriously feel that the youth of today do not have enough "autonomy" in trying to figure things out for themselves because of all the interaction and parental deciding that is going on.
And that I am afraid does not bode well for their futures. If they are so spoiled and they depend on their parents to make all their decisions for them, how do we expect them to be productive members of society. With parents fighting their kid's battles...as you will see is happening more and more from reading the following article...I don't think that our youth are being prepared for the big ugly world that is lurking out there right around the corner.
I and most of my friends did a lot of our planning on our own and we had teachers who helped guide and mold us.....our parents were still there but once we were in our mid teens....we had a level of responsibility that in effect made us young adults. And I think this has helped us all with dealing with the world that we now live in.
I personally know teachers who have quit their jobs because of all of the "parental involvement" in their children's lives. Parents trying to tell teachers how to educate their children and tell them what they (the parents) expect these teachers to teach their children. The teachers are the ones who went to school to learn how to educate.
Don't get me wrong....I feel the educational system has also been a big negative part of all of this as well. I feel that education in the primary school system has been "dummed down" a lot in the last 20-30 years and that the youth of today are not learning all they should. Then parents and employers should supplement those shortcomings.....but to completely hover and smother these kids is just plain wrong in my eyes. Without mistakes being made and without the chance of these kids to develop a tough skin either by being bullied or harassed by their classmates and or picked on and criticized by their teachers and their employers....these kids will become spoiled, unprepared adults that will not have the "emotional intelligence" to make it in the world of today and what will surly be a harder world tomorrow.
I fear that the kids of today do not have the same advantage as my generation and those prior to mine had. It shows every day wherever I look and in stories like the one below that I read.
And I feel sorry for them.
My main message here is to ask parents to "stop meddling" in their kid's day to day activities and give them some breathing room. Support them but do not smother them and try to direct their every move.
Instead of the "Hover generation", I would like to call for a change and call it the "smother generation"...at least until all of these parents can realize that all the "smothering" has to stop or be cut back a little....let the little birds try out their wings a bit before they leave the nest....not after!
And for those that are thinking "with the way things are in the world today...parents need to keep a closer eye on their children"....I say this:
Yes, please keep an eye on your children and give them guidance and direction and be involved in their lives.
But on the same hand, let them make decisions themselves and let them make their own mistakes the hard way. Otherwise they will never learn how to be truly independent in this ever changing world.
Involvement includes:
Being a positive role model.
Allowing your child to discover not only their strengths but to recognize and deal with their weaknesses in a constructive way.
Be a cheerleader when they do well but be a disciplinarian when they choose to do wrong.
But when you hover, you belittle their self-confidence and esteem.
These children no longer feel that they are capable or worthy of making their own decisions.
There's a big difference between protecting and stifling.
Click below to read about this new class of parents.....
JS Online:Parents are new class of bullies
There is another article I pulled off the web that talks about this "Hover-Helicopter" Generation of parents. Another very interesting read which I think anyone who is a parent should read. Alot of good comments from other parents after the main article also.
http://drhelen.blogspot.com/2006/05/helicopter-parents.html
A good week to all.
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